So I've been looking for a job like crazy the last couple of months. John's got a pretty good job, but he just makes enough for us to cover our bills and not much else. The only problem is I can't just go back to working retail like I was before because I have to make enough to pay for Olivia's daycare (we don't have any family that could watch her for us during the day) and daycare is EXPENSIVE! Anyway, I had TWO job interviews this past week, which is AWESOME! One was for a teaching position at the daycare center really close to where John and I live. That would obviously be my first choice. It doesn't pay SUPER great and we wouldn't get a discount on Olivia's daycare till she's 18 mos old, but it's so so close to our house and I'd feel a lot better about having Olivia in daycare if I were there the whole time. Also, I wouldn't have to worry about taking off work for holidays when the daycare is closed--they go along with school schedule. I would make enough to cover the cost of Olivia's daycare with enough leftover to make it worth my while. I also had an interview at a staffing agency. They find people to fill positions at offices all over the Birmingham area. I'm hoping something could work out that way too because the pay would be better than teaching and I wouldn't have to take my work home with me--I could just go home and focus on Olivia and John. Either way my options are good, for which I'm really thankful.
I was reading this article this morning about this celebrity who just had a baby and was talking about her hair falling out after she had the baby and how women never talk about stuff like that! It got me to thinking about what women go through during pregnancy. I had never heard half this stuff until I actually got preggo. Then every woman that saw me wanted to tell me about being pregnant! Bad stuff too... :-/ I was taking a shower, thinking about it, pulling clumps of my hair out so it wouldn't clog the drain (my pp hairloss was delayed because of the breastfeeding) I thought about all the mornings and nights of debilitating heartburn. Of throwing up in really embarassing places--gas station parking lots, restuarants, the time I didn't make it to the bathroom and threw up in the floor of our favorite Mexican restuarant. I thought about the acne I developed that STILL hasn't gone away. The stretch marks that criss-cross across my breasts, stomach, thighs. About how my stomach looks all crazy and poochy because it got all stretched out. How I lost all my baby weight because of the breastfeeding, but still can't wear most of my dresses because my breasts are HUGE! Then I think about how none of that matters at all. I think about the nights where I'd lay on the couch while John laid his head on my belly and talk to Olivia and she'd kick right where his face was! How when I ate dinner too fast, she'd get the hiccups and I couldn't stop laughing because my belly would twitch every time she hiccuped. How I would sit in Dr. Truss's World War I class taking notes and nobody (not even Dr. Truss!) could concentrate because Olivia was rolling around and you could see my whole belly roll every time she moved. I think about how scared I was when I found out that my placenta had failed and I'd have to have a c-section RIGHT THEN. And how I felt the first time she latched on succeessfully and I realized that not only did I sustain her life for nine months inside my body, but I would also keep her alive with my milk--just like millions of women did with their own babies thousands of years before I was born. Olivia is the biggest blessing I've ever had in my life and everytime I looked at my crazy poochy belly and stretch marks, I feel proud because that's what I did for my daughter and not only would I do it again in a heartbeat, I can't wait till John and I are ready for baby #2 (though it will be a LONG while! Lol)
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